On the precipice of defeat...

antiproductfan @ 2007-10-21T01:44:00

2007-10-21T05:44:33Z

Okay...so who reeads this thing?
If you do, leave a comment.
I mean, I haven't posted in like, a year+...

Lead us not...unto temptation?

2006-08-16T14:54:54Z

What if the language we spoke was not our own?
What if the ground beneath our feet opened so a thousand tomorrows could fly on borrowed wings?
What if the language we spoke was not our own, and you could bless me from tongue to bone?
What if love was but a breath while falling down?
Well I may think in lesser shades while trailing you.

Wow.
I haven't updated this thing in fucking ages.
But perhaps there has been a reason to the lack of rhyme or reason in my updating pattern. mainly because of the fact that I NEVER KNOW WHAT TO SAY... and apparent;y I like to hit caps lock and I'm too lazy to change it, because that sentence really did not need that emphasis. But I never do know what to say, something that people would desire to read, at least. But I am really bored, so i decided I would update this muvafuka on case some random person was actually interested, but I don't think anyone really reads this ol' thing any more.
I've been in Chicago since last wednesday, and I've been enjoying myself. I've been pretty bored at times, but at least it's boredom far away from where I live. I haven't been doing much exciting really, except for the weekend. Cara's mom invited me to go up to Wisconsin with them, which I gladly accepted. God it's been forever since I've seen that girl. I missed the fuck out of her, and seeing her makes everything alright. It's like I had just seen her. I forget about missing her when I'm with her...I kinda forget about everything...it's so weird, yet so very comforting.
Well I'll be damned if I'm going to make your mind up for you, reader. It is what it is.
dojcoqwdjkwcjqejfcoerjk
The more I think about all of this, the more I'm going back home, which I dread so much.
Not so much because of any one person or event, but rather, the culmination of all of it. People there are dicks, the ideas of "fun" are terrible, and quite frankly, shitty. I don't know how long I can take it.
I sure bitch a lot in this thing, huh?
But, if I cared, I would do something about it....but I don't.
With any luck I'll see Cara tomorrow or so, have some fun maybe go see a movie or something.
Or maybe we'll do nothing, I could really care less.
Anybody wanna buy me a house in Chicago? I swear I'll pay you back somehow...
Family Values=Dir en grey and Deadsy=11 days from now, which means 17 days from now I leave.
Yet I feel like I have so much to accomplish, so much i feel I must do!
Every day I die a little bit on the inside, whether I'll admit it or not.

FUqn A

2006-07-02T03:56:42Z

I hav en't updated this thing in sooooooooo god damn long.
I just don't want to sit here and make depressing entries all the time,but I am going to now, because I need to say this
I've been so lonely lately. It's so hard not to, when your friends get tons of action from different girls..
and you, well you get none.
They're out getting drunk and having fun and snd getting hott gurrs
You're at home listening to Ayumi, watching anime, and writing a review of 12012.
I like to do that sometimes, but man, I'm tired of this town. I don't get drunk, so I don't get to go to stuff, and I get lonely.
Ugh
I hate Paw Paw with every passing day, more and more.
Anyway, I'm hoping things will get better, sooner rather than later.
I feel like July is going to be a busy month for me
I need to go see Cara
lyke woah.

Drawrings!

2006-06-26T21:30:28Z

The first ten people to comment on this post get to request a doodle/sketch/drabble from me on a subject/character of their choosing.

In return, they have to post this meme in their journal.

YOU MUST POST THIS IN YOUR OWN JOURNAL, TOO!

This is a meme I approve of because it involves sharing and creativity!

[ETA: Remember to tell me what you want!]

antiproductfan @ 2006-06-16T10:18:00

2006-06-16T14:18:49Z

I've had nothing to speak about recently.
My days have been writing reviews and being pretty lonely.
Not having anything like a girlfriend,or even a girl who likes me
porque el dios me odia
But anyway, I'm looking forward to being truly free, and having stuff to do with friends
Until then,
Joey

antiproductfan @ 2006-05-29T00:17:00

2006-05-29T04:17:26Z

Friday was...simply amazing
I'm in Chicago right now, and yesterday, I saw X Men 3
Simply a fucking great movie
Then,
I left for Tower Records to meet Nobuo Uematsu, and that was tremendous
I got there 2 and a half hours early, and there still already some people there
I made some friends, and got kicked out once, (only to return right back in the store unnoticed, and still was the only fan to catch Angela Aki's sound check singing, A haha, I'm so slick)
Angela Aki's real performance was...wow
I can't even describe it
I love that girl like life
But, the signing afterwards was sweet, Nobuo signed my iPod, and I have to try and think of a way to seal in the color.
I'll figure it out, damn it.
Today is Play! the concert I have been dying to see
This weekend is owning fucking face
Fuck you MI bitches!
AHAHAHA
Joey

antiproductfan @ 2006-05-17T19:27:00

2006-05-17T23:27:54Z

So here's a question for all of you, feel free to discuss:
With the widespread word of mouth and advertising Diru will be getting, what do you think this will mean for other Japanese bands, like Visual Kei?
On one hand, Dir en grey WAS Visual for a while, and they had a sound like that of other visual bands, look and all. On the other hand though, fans will be getting a taste of Diru sound as of now, with only WtD getting that sizable release, their visual stuff cast aside.
What kind of bands will be riding the coat tails of success, Visual Kei bands, or the more metal sound like maybe Concerto Moon (NOT comparing the two bands! *ducks*), or do you think that because of the situation, no other band will be able to capture this success, and be forced to work on their own?
Just a thought.

Te amo..

2006-05-12T19:22:24Z

I still don't have a girlfriend or girl to fool around with, and it sucks.
I also really miss Deadsy
I mean, sure, I can listen to Commencement 934-093-40 times,
But I want new shit, damn it!
Give me Dream Crusher!
If anyone could help out with either/both of my needs
I'd really appreciate it
Until then..I guess I..don't have much to say
My time has been spent writing music reviews, writing scripts,and watching anime
Man my life is just sweet
♥

Today was sw33t

2006-04-30T02:24:16Z

Today was fun
I had a lot of fun and enjoye dmyself, even siting on a roof, just watching others have fun
But I realized I've only done stuff with straight, white, girls
I need to fool around with a lesbian or bi, who is hot, and maybe even not white
Tough task, huh?

efvsdbgf

2006-04-26T00:12:05Z

The new alice nine. CD is absolute fucking sex for anyone who likes Visual Kei
I'm doing better than before, even if slightly, and it's a nice feeling.
This freshman talked to me today, and I don't know her last name, but she's super nice, so it's awesome to have someone to talk to between classes that will approach me, as opposed to me hunting them out.
I have a math test tomorrow
and that sucks cock
hard cock.
Better than soft cock?
♥

antiproductfan @ 2006-04-23T01:15:00

2006-04-23T05:15:20Z

Don't even know what to write about, but I feel compelled
I'm doing a tad better than last time
I'm still crushing on a girl who doesn;t return the feelings
Still feel like I'm stuck in a rut
But whateva
hard to explain
But I explained what ebonics were to an Australian boy today
it was fun

I sense there's something in the wind, that feels liek tragedys at hand..

2006-04-20T21:58:24Z

Today sucked hard
All day long
I really hate..
living?
I'm tired of all this drama.
I need to go asexual, which is impossible for me anyway
Things have been confusing and shitty
I need to find someway to get some direction in my life, which I also think is impossible
BAH
erklhjfgjierhjgfjhergjfkerhjgkhtgihfkjvb
if I were a sith lord
i wouldn't have this shit
I'd just cut off people's heads and hands
I got beat up by Catie J today
It sucked
And Bio sucks too
I want a grrfriend
takers? ;)
♥
Joey

Desert rose..why do you look so sad? If you want, I'll end your life now

2006-04-07T04:22:26Z

No dude, it's Panic! at the disco
April 7, 06 12:11
that's why I used to make fun of Gayla'sshirt
April 7, 06 12:11
before I knew it was a band

Mysethhurts
AIM
April 7, 06 12:11
is it really beacuse i remember looking at stephs album cover
April 7, 06 12:11
oh who gives a shit they suck ass anyway

Joey Papan
AIM
April 7, 06 12:12
http://www.panicatthedisco.com/
April 7, 06 12:12
lol yeah, they suck either way
April 7, 06 12:12
I'd go see the xDresden dolls if these fuckers weren't playing them

Mysethhurts
AIM
April 7, 06 12:12
if you think i'm clicking on that link you're crazy

Joey Papan
AIM
April 7, 06 12:12
lmao well, on themain page, it's just a picture that says Panic!

Mysethhurts
AIM
April 7, 06 12:13
more like Ganic! at the fuck i suck at musico
Mysethhurts
AIM
April 7, 06 12:16
i just saw them on MTV and i bought their shirt, it's black
April 7, 06 12:16
it matches my heart

Seth always knows how to make my day.
Other than that..today was fun
Hung out with VS,Ed and Abby
I don't know how to explain this,
but I'm as not as happy as i was, and I can't put my finger on why...
I hate that feeling
In other news, I look like the singer from Panic! At the disco? I say not at all..
but hey
if he's considered a hot guy,t hen sign me up ;)
This song is so long, I love it to death, it's so good, but 35 minutes long! I feel liek when I'm done, that it's weird
I have whole albums shorter than that!
♥

antiproductfan @ 2006-04-05T17:58:00

2006-04-05T21:58:08Z

It's amazing people can wonder why I hate Micro$oft so much when the one time I use their siftware...fucking crashes and I lose everything
God damn microsoft

antiproductfan @ 2006-04-04T13:04:00

2006-04-04T17:04:20Z

So I went to Chicago this weekend
pretty boring, but glad I went, spent time with my brother, who I love.
Tjis week should be fun.
last week with this purple. broken computer screen
And I'll play a lotta pokemon (which my friend minagoroshi says I should feel blessed for)
Other than that, I have some work to do, but I'm free today if anyone wants to do anything.
♥

antiproductfan @ 2006-03-20T12:58:00

2006-03-20T17:58:45Z

Oh...my life recently
It's been good. But like, I can't seem to help but still be rather pessimistic. I have no girlfriend still (but I have a girl I'm close with,and I'm very happy to be so close to) but really, she'll be leaving for college in just a few months..and I will be stuck.
Here.
In fucking Paw Paw Michigan...home to fucking grapes.
Things have been getting better. I'm writing more and more for J revolution, if you all could go check it out and read the reivews for Beyond the Gate, 17, and Polysics or Die!!!!, I'd really appreciate it. I enjoy doing it, a lot, it's fun, and I get to fele like I'm doing something productive.
I just..
I get this feeling that even though I might feel really happy and that I'm on like,a pedestal, at the same time...
it's foundation is weak and it will only take a few small things to break it down back to normal..
but I suppose that's how life is, isn't it?
Everyone else has all these things coming up that they look forward to..major things, things hat may stick with them forever.
I have..
the moment when I get my new computer screen, so i can sit at home and watch more anime.
Oh Boy, JUST what I need.
I want concerts,fun,trips..something!
Damn you, all of you seeing dir en grey
I should be here!
I deleted my 3 page essay on evil in Lord of the Flies that was due today
So I just skipped english.
Plus I needed some time to catch up on shit, not feel so fucking bogged down and always on this endless game of catch up
This is the first time I've been on my computer for over an hour and AIM hasn't been on in..
god KNOWS how long. But it's a long time
I need money, I need an external hard drive, so I can run virtual PC to do the few menial tasks I need it to
Another way to get free music? You bet your ass
Did they ever put Pokemon on DVD? If they did, i wanna watch it
That cartoon was the shit
I'm gonna stop rambling and write another review...this time, the new single by NewS:Hadashi no CINDERELLA BOY. Don't ask why The last part is in all caps..it's a Japanese pop thing.
♥
Joey

antiproductfan @ 2006-03-12T19:21:00

2006-03-13T00:21:34Z

This weekend..
It was alright
Kind of uneventful, but hey, better to be uneventful than dramatic
I am on the staff of J-revolution now, a website for Japanese media, I'll mostly review music
That makes me very happy
And my phone now has the Pokemon theme for it's ringer
That also makes me very happy
♥

antiproductfan @ 2006-03-06T21:00:00

2006-03-07T02:00:30Z

Man! I am bored
I've been playing CT since pretty much after school, I get addicted to that game in small bursts.
I hope something cool happens this week, but this monday gives me a feeling this week'll be slow...not necessarily bad, just...slow
You know?
Moi Dix Mois new CD is out, and I don't have it yet
That makes me disappointed..
way to go CdJapan!
I need more money, for more CDs
seriously
I hope everyone's as well as I am
♥

Beginners English isn't all that easy, we must work to live!

2006-03-05T23:14:42Z

I have not updated in while, which is rare, but I just keep forgetting!
This week was good after not being sick anymore. Lots of tests in school and the lot, but I did well enough on all of them,(one of 2 A's in my class on the FST test).
Other than that, I've been playing Chrono Trigger this week, not doing my assigned reading, because Lord of the Flies sucks...the symbolism is terrible. I know the auhtor was trying to convey a point about hierarchal society and how it was always dominate us,regardless if there is government or not...byt my god does he do it in a dry way...I'd rather read Thomas Fucking Paine...jesus.
</rant>
Anyway, the weekend was also really fun, I spent all of friday with miss Abigail, that was fun. Saturday was good, I got a new backpack (Swiss Army Synergy) and Jumpin' Jesus on a Pogo stick is it fucking sweet!!!111one Also, the CD I ordered "Polysics or Die!!!!" By the Polysics got here, and it is already one of my favorite CDs ever,up there with Diru and Moi Dix Mois. Then I hung out with Abby again, and had a very tasty banana split.
The past week has kind made me feel rather rejuvenated in terms of society..things have been going well for me, in fact, they couldn't be better. Soon enough, my computer will be upgraded,I will get an external HDD for it, and that will be perfect too. For once, I have nothing to bitch about, and I am genuinely happy with my situation.

QWERTY

2006-02-27T17:10:44Z

Ugh, I feel like shit
Fuqn girls *coughABBYcough* making me sick
it's all their fault, because it's easier to blame them than take responsibility for my own actions
A day of school missed, I almost feel bad that I've missed so many days this semester already, but whateva, I'll make my shit up
"What are you some kind of ass!? Don't you know who I am..I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!"

antiproductfan @ 2006-02-23T15:17:00

2006-02-23T20:17:48Z

Anyone seeing D'espairsRay tonight?
Ifyou go, I would love you forever and ever if you got some bad ass photos and sent them my my way via email (LovelyEuhanasia@gmail.com) oh hell, any sweet D'espairs pics would do, but damn I'm jealous of anyone going tot see them tonight!

antiproductfan @ 2006-02-20T22:35:00

2006-02-21T03:35:12Z

My fucking ps2 controller and my Copy of Xenosaga Episode are fucking gone!
My fucking lord!
I just want to play Xenosaga!!!!!!1111oneone111!
Anyone have one/both of these I could borrow for a while?
I'd love you forever...

antiproductfan @ 2006-02-16T23:24:00

2006-02-17T04:24:48Z

So I was just putting new sheets on my bed, but all my sheets are dirty, so I put on some old ones, and they are Small Soldiers..
and I was just remembering how badass that movie really was.
I loved it

+3|-| \/\/33|<3/\/|]

2006-02-13T21:39:57Z

Man...this weekend...what to say?
As I said before, i was in Chicago, and good lord did I have fun
Yesterday I went and saw Cara...I needed to so bad. God I missed that Lil' Bia.
I spent the day with her and saw Elly and Kris10, and it good to see them too.
I had so much fun, a lot more than I've had lately. The worst part is coming home, I dread it. But this weekend definitely cheered me up after all the shit that's been going on, it'll help me go through more trivial Paw Paw shit.
I just overall had a blast, and I'm really glad I went
I also let Cara do my hair, and I might keep doing it like this, not sure yet.
I hope everyone else had as good of a weekend as I did.
I ♥ you all,
Joey

Spill...your...GUTS!

2006-02-10T22:13:55Z

I'm in chicago,
I am SO watching Nick Guts
I was just wondering what the kids do with that glowing rock they won..
like, nowadays